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wow.
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Feb. 15th, 2006 @ 03:11 pm
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So I COMPLETELY forgot I had one of these things. Looking back, holy shit have I changed since college.
I think I might pick this back up again just because it's been so long and it's nice to have a place to write my feelings. |
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Mar. 3rd, 2005 @ 12:46 pm
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Hello livejournal. It's been quite a while.
My restaurant, Hops, closed on Monday. It was so depressing I didn't even know what to do with myself. Adrienne, Brandon, Jenn, and I were all able to turn around and get hired at The Cheesecake Factory (word) that opens in 2 weeks, and even though the money is going to rock, it's just not the same. Hops was a family. I can't imagine working without everybody, it's totally going to take a lot of getting used to.
Adrienne and I are moving into an apartment on the river in June. I am so stoked. They are way expensive, but way worth it.
Same old same old love life. It's good. ALmost a year. Sheesh.
Jessie Ray. If you guys want to come and visit next weekend, it's fine with me! The only thing is that I have to work Friday at some point (not sure what time yet). But I would absolutely love to have you guys. So call me and if I don't hear from you today I will call you tomorrow.
I have black hair now.
And I like who I am. I've figured out a lot about myself, and I like most of it. This special man named Maynard has opened my eyes to real life.The truth...:  pensive Inside my head...: Tool |
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I've been on my own for over a month now. I have spats of "I miss my parents", but mostly I love it. I work a lot, so I'm not there much, but when I am there, it's nice. Adrienne basically lives with me, so ... yeah.
I had a dream a couple nights ago that Jesie and Lee got married. It was outside and there were lots of white flowers. Weird.
Had a dream about Mr. Mike Evans last night. Totally hot dream, too. LOL.
Going to California next week for Thanksgiving. Good stuff.
I miss Jessie and Lee and Charlie. A lot.
And Griffo. Miss Griffo and Nick and Whitney. I need to get out to Tally sometime. |
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Sep. 16th, 2004 @ 12:24 pm
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Umm, hello livejournal.
I move out of my house two weeks from tomorrow.
I'm not going to school this semester because of money. Gotta love it. Really sucks.
Adrienne and I are moving to San Diego, California next summer. Word.
Still in love with him. ;) |
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Aug. 23rd, 2004 @ 04:04 pm
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This week's to-do list:
See DeLovely
Buy apartment stuff (almost done!)
Jump out of airplane
Pay car insurance
Yes. I am skydiving on Friday. Totally. Stoked.
Life's looking up. I'm still in love with him, he's still in love with me. Moutnains stand in our way but we're committed to making it. For him. For me. For us.
I never thought my life would end up like this. Then again, who does? |
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to clarify to all my loving anonymous posters:
dan hiller= friend.
Aug. 9th, 2004 @ 01:28 pm
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Whoa.
Dan Hiller called me last night.
And is coming in town in 3 weeks.
And wants to see me.
I've waited a year a half for this.
Wow.
Aug. 8th, 2004 @ 11:48 am
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on the way down
I saw you
And you saved me from myself
And I wont forget the way you loved me
One the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held on to you
If this is heartbreak, I never want to love again.
Aug. 3rd, 2004 @ 09:50 pm
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He knows that I'll never love anyone more than I love him.
He knows that no matter how far away we may be, he holds my heart.
He knows that he is perfect for me and I for him.
He knows that we have no control over who we fall in love with and why.
I know he lovevs me.
I know we are suposed to be together. He knows it, too.
But there are three things standing in our way.
And today, those three things became more important than us.
Understandable, yes. Acceptable? Not for me.
But I know that he'll always love me.
I wish that it were enough. I wish he could hold me tonight. I wish I were stronger, I wish life were a little less complicated, and I wish that one day, two other people in this situation are able to be together forever. Because I deserve him. He deserves me. Yet I'm over here, and he's over there, and there's a line in between that we can't ever cross again.
But I'll watch him from here, imagine me next to his side, envelope myself in his smile each night and wake up to his eyes every morning.
And I never want to love like this again.
Jul. 30th, 2004 @ 10:44 pm
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pages of pent up emotion flooded out of my fingertips last night. it was a wonderful thing. i had been trying to put into words how i was feeling, but i honestly, sadly, didn't have enough time to do it. but last night i made the time and i woke up feeling rested for the first time in weeks.
and then i get an email from richard girtain, my tech theatre teacher from spring semester. he messed up my grade. i made a B in the class, not the C that was posted...AND that means i get bright futures back. HOLLER.
and today's gonna keep on being this great day, i feel it. I'm off all day. I'm gonna clean my car, clean my room, and find someone to hang out with tonight (which shouldn't be a problem considering....hehehehe).
Jul. 14th, 2004 @ 01:14 pm
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it's been a freaking amazing weekend. i love life so much right now.
i saw farenheit 911 yesterday. i will say this: if you have any love or sympathy or respect for George W. Bush, even if your faith in him is so miniscule it barely exists...whatever nice feeling you have for this man will be erased. zapped. kapow. bam. gone. all i can say is this: john kerry is an idiot, yes. i'm afraid to let him lead my country, yes. but i don't think america can survive another 4 years under bush's hand.
is that against the patriot act? am i going to get hauled away now? whatever.
anywho. last night was the best, most beautiful...sigh. it was just the greatest night ever. i could spend every night of my life the way i did last night and be content forever.
and NO, i'm not talking about sex, people. sheesh. get your minds out of the gutter.
but yeah. last night. showed me. what it means. to be. happy.
Jul. 11th, 2004 @ 12:30 pm
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It's wonderful to know that for some of life's toughest situations, it's true that there IS a rainbow after the storm.
Things were awful, but a few words that I thought I'd never hear from the only person I wanted to hear them from are still ringing in my ear.
Jul. 8th, 2004 @ 12:29 am
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So you buried all your lover's clothes and burned the letters lover wrote, but it doesn't make it any better, it doesn't make it any better. And the plaster dented from your fist in the hall where you had your first kiss reminds you that the memories will fade.
But
your taste still lingers on my lips like I just placed them upon yours and I starve, I starve for you.
And
breathing is a foreign task and thinking's just too much to ask.
Because
thanks, thanks for that summer. It's cold where you're going, I hope that your heart's always warm. I gave you the best, I gave you the best that I had.
If my life is the Truman Show, Dashboard Confessional is my theme music.
Jul. 4th, 2004 @ 02:03 pm
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My Best Friend is ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) dancing4love | | Our 5 common interests are: adam pascal, dave matthews band, frank sinatra, john mayer, johnny depp | Who is your best friend?
| | Created by macoto |
What a long needed night last night was. Nothing but me, Adrienne, Lindsey, a pool, Skylar and Robin, lighters, and wet cigarettes. AMong many other things. I'm still a little down, I'm sure work will only bring me further down...but as for right now, I'm ok.
Except for the fact that I think I'm gonna get kicked out of my house. Today. Because things have been really bad with my 'rents and I think me not going to church with them today was the straw that broke the camel's back. So...yeah.
Jul. 4th, 2004 @ 12:17 pm
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And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right
Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.
I will hold you close, if you're afraid of heights.
I need you to see this place, it might be the only way
that I can show you how
it feels to be inside of you.
How do you do it?
Make me feel like I do.
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew
Difficult not to feel a little bit
Disappointed and passed over
When I LOOK right through
See you naked but oblivious
...songs that i can't get out of my head because they describe me so much right now it's almost scary...
Jul. 2nd, 2004 @ 10:54 am
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So it's been a while since I've had a real update. Here goes nothing.
Sunday I went to Islands of Adventure with Jessie, Leah, Lee, Charlie, Maiken, and April. Good times were had, and I have learned the art of riding in the front row of a roller coaster. Never will I ever ride a roller coaster again unless I am in the front row.
Jessie came back to Jacksonville with me to visit for a few days. I showed her around town and amazingly enough found some places that I know I will be spending more time (like the fountain at friendship park. dude. i could have sat there all night).
My summer has consisted mainly of work and the beach, as well as some fun here and there. :) I work so much that I've learned to really enjoy what I do and really enjoy the people I work with.
Family life sucks. But what else is new?
There's so much going on inside my head that I wish I could just blurt out to the world, but there are too many complications if I do. Is that a sign that what I'm feeling is wrong? Ugh. I'm so sick of thinking about some things. I wish they would just fix themselves. I wish I could walk away and everything would magically get better.
It makes me think of a wuote that says "Sometimes I wish I was little again. Because skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts."
Not that I have a broken heart. But I do wish I was little again soemtimes because it seems like so much in my life is too complicated.
I have so many songs.
Jun. 30th, 2004 @ 08:10 pm
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oh, you better believe it. yes maam. YES MAAM.
Heaven is a place on earth.
Jun. 22nd, 2004 @ 02:09 pm
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I'm exhausted, it's ok. Work is going well, I've got a great tan...happy days are here. I'm almost out of debt with my parents, and things are looking up. I'm moving out by the end of August, and they're completely ok with it. So...good times.
I've gotta work tonight, but that's ok, I love my job and I love the people I work with. Things on the job are going well, moving fast, but going well. THey won't leave me alone about getting into management, but I keep saying no. Besides that, everything at work is great.
Love you all!
Jun. 20th, 2004 @ 03:13 pm
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Last night was definitely the greatest night of the summer and I bet they are only gonna get better. I went up to the northside with Adrienne, Verne, and Dave to hear Rhys perform in this contest. And DUDE...Rhys is the next big thing. He rocked out so hard it was unbelievable.
And to Jessie, Rachel, and Colleen...three girls from three very different areas of my life...all I've got to say is.....FIRST FREAKING BASE! :)
And now i'm off to the beach. Hope everyone's having a splendid day!
Jun. 18th, 2004 @ 10:38 am
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Dude. What a perfect few days it was. I couldn't have asked for a btter time (except to have spent more time with Nick and Allison, and to have seen Whitney). I know my way around Vero/Jupiter/Tequesta pretty well, which rocks. And I'll be down there again in a couple weeks, but just for business. One of my co workers and I are going down there for a few days to see one of the Hops down there by orders of Corporate(you better believe it, Rach!) and get stuff for the new training program. But it's still gonna be fun.
And next Sunday we are all going to Islands of Adventure, WHOOP! And Jess is gonna come home with me and stay for a few days, yayayayayayayay!
Tomorrow it's back to the grind. A double tomorrow, poopie. It's a darn good thing I like my job.
Jun. 16th, 2004 @ 11:19 pm
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